The sad tale of the turbaconucken that never was :(

As many of you know I was excited…no ecstatic about the plan to bacon wrap and deep fry a turducken this year for Thanksgiving. However my dreams were crushed by certain wussy boys who were afraid of the awesomeness that would be the turbaconducken. We had it all worked out…we would make the turducken then deep fry it until it was almost done then pull it out and wrap it in bacon and pop it in the oven for the rest of the way. It was perfect…there was no way it could go wrong! But at the last minute some of the guys decided it wouldnt work or something (I think they were just afraid of its awesomeness). Dreams = crushed.

Although not all was lost, due to the high number of people attending our Thanksgiving we decided one mega bird wasnt enough so we got a backup turkey. Needless to say, I claimed it as my own and announced that I would bacon wrap and roast it myself.

The plan was simple. Prepare the bird as normal: rub with oil and salt and pepper…. stuff with an onion, garlic and celery… place more onions, garlic, and celery in the pan…pop in the oven and roast. I basted it every 45 minutes to keep it moist and right before it was done I draped it with 2 lbs of delicious bacon. I also stuffed some bacon inside the bird and then cut up some pears and tossed them in the pan to roast along with some dried rose petals. After about 20 minutes the bird was done (a few pieces of bacon werent cooked all the way so I removed them, wrapped em in foil and tossed em back in the oven to finish up before draping them back on the bird).

I took the juice and made a gravy as you usually do, only I blended up the roasted pears and mixed that in (I also tossed in a few extra pieces of bacon to the gravy just to reinforce the bacon flavors).

The bird was carved and served…to my surprise the meat was very bacony tasting! I thought that the bacon would just infuse the skin but some how it permeated the deeper layers of the turkey giving it all a delicious bacony flavor. The pear gravy was a perfect accent adding the sweetness that the salty bacon needed (you know, for that yin/yang balance shit). I highly recommend trying a bacon wrapped turkey for anyone looking to pep up their bird this holiday season. Next time I want to try a maple syrup glaze instead of the pear, really I think just about any sweet topping would match perfectly.

All in all the bacon wrapped turkey was a total and complete success.

Oh and I guess the turducken wasnt too bad either….but it would’ve been better with bacon.


This turducken would look a lot happier if it wasnt naked…it needs a nice bacon suit.

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